A hard-ass motherfucker, Tahu Nuva is a gangster first and a Toa second. His mastery of the element of fire comes from his rap mixtape, which he accidentally sat on one day, lodging it up his own ass. He hasn’t taken a shit in three years.

Voiced by: Shane

Likes:

• Robax Platinum©

• Doggystyle (Snoop Doggy Dogg 1993 album)

• Spice (Spice Girls 1996 album)

Dislikes:

• Gali

• Back pain

• Hippie shit

The one (and possibly only) voice of reason on Mata Pui, Gali is a vegan and a devout Buddhist who values nutrition and a well-balanced lifestyle. She was described by a member of the Toa Nuva (who chose to remain anonymous) as an "annoying, bitch-ass, watery hoe."

Voiced by: mikartsu

Likes:

• Dihydrogen monoxide

• Yoga

• Flow© Extra-Absorbent tampons

• The word "moist"

Dislikes:

• Fast food

• BBQ potato chips

• Lewa's "good stuff"

A true Big Apple boy, Pohatu is the cheery peacekeeper of the group and everybody's best bud! His optimism is so intense that many of the other Toa wonder if he may have had a lobotomy.

Gali has recently gotten him hooked on naturopathic healing methods for his groinal pain after he got drunk and streaked at a New York Jets game only to get hit in the bolts by a field goal.

Voiced by: Goose

Likes:

• The New York Jets

• Epic fist bumps

• Beer

Dislikes:

• The Philadelphia Eagles

• Party poopers

Father Francis Mulcahy-turned-hippie, Lewa is a friend to everybody who enters his forest. In his opinion, drugs are an important part of a healthy lifestyle, including for children. He can sometimes fly into an irrational rage if he loses his buzz.

No one is sure about all of Lewa's past whereabouts, including him. He is on his way to a brighter, wavier, groovier future, man.

Voiced by: Jordan

Likes:

• All forms of plant life, including Al Gore

• Drugs

• Sidewalk chalk

• Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski

Dislikes:

• His extremely sharp memory

The voice behind the 5 Gum commercials, not much else is known about Kopaka because he has not attended the monthly Toa Community Outreach meetings in over two years. He would kindly like the entire world to leave him the fuck alone in his frigid domain.

Voiced by: Shane

Likes:

• Winter

• Cold

• Koka-Kola© soft drink

• Shaun White (American snowboarder)

Dislikes:

• Hot

• Warm nasty Pepsi

• Socializing

Onua is known for being impulsive and incredibly destructive, despite his overwhelmingly joyful personality. His people are constantly rebuilding their infrastructure due to him accidentally decimating it.

Voiced by: Jordan

Likes:

• Whisky

• The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Dislikes:

• Self-restraint

• His insurance rates

A standard, underwhelming main character who becomes the undeserving hero, Tapua used to spend all his time wandering aimlessly around Ta-Koro. But that all changes when he accidentally discovers a mysterious mask and is whisked away on the adventure of a lifetime...

In reality, many believe that the Turdaga only sent him on his quest in order to get him out of town for a while because he's annoying as fuck.

Voiced by: Shifty

Likes:

• Poopoo

• Wearing random plants on his head

• Dirtbike

• Eating the rubber nobbles off the bottom of his dirtbike's tires

Dislikes:

• Responsibility

• Talking to shadows

• Wiping his ass with rocks

Jaller is constantly exasperated by his so-called friend Tapua. He is often misunderstood because of his damaged voicebox, which is a result of a childhood injury involving tripping over his toothbrush while it was in his mouth.

In a bizarre twist of events, he ends up being mistaken for the Herald and taking on Tapua's duty of searching for the enigmatic Seventh Toa.

Voiced by: Lonestar

Likes:

• Responsibility

• Secret spankings

• Martin Brodeur

• Hahli

• Personal firearms

Dislikes:

• Having to clean up after others

• When people mispronounce his name

Hahli is a Ga-Matoran who inserts herself into the story in a manner just as obnoxious as her overall demeanor. She has recently been attending Toastmasters meetings and can't wait for her big moment to inspire her people through a life-changing speech.

Voiced by: Casey

Likes:

• Jaller

• Beating boys at sports

• Tony Robbins

Dislikes:

• Reggie

• Being talked over

The seventh son of a seventh son, Vakama began his life as a cleric in a small church in Mississippi. He then sought employment by the Lego Corporation to help bring the Faith to its characters. Vakama willfully accepted his fate to become a microscopic children's toy in his quest to spread Mata Pui's love.

Voiced by: Jordan

Likes:

• Taking monster dumps

• Satellite navigation

• Our Lawwwwwwwwwd and Sayvyer Mata Pui

Dislikes:

• Karen in Accounting

A geriatric but wise woman. She secretly rendezvouses with Lewa for pain medication. And possibly to get a bit of a buzz on.

Was wild asf back in the day.

Probably still is.

Voiced by: Jared

Likes:

• Her unrecognized wisdom

• Halo 2

Dislikes:

• Her stumpy legs

• Getting her dentures stuck in the brownies

• Getting Vakama's dentures stuck in her brownies

Who?

Voiced by: Tommy

Likes:

• Eating roast birds with berry dressing

• Viagra

Dislikes:

• Bioniker Beans

A hard-working Mexican Ta-Matoran, Reggie is a fake name provided to him by the government in order to protect his identity from the cartel he escaped from when he came to Mata Pui.

He will take any work he can get to support his family, including dangerous and disreputable jobs.

Voiced by: Goose

Likes:

• His job

• His boss

• His loving wife, Karen

• Life

Dislikes:

The lead gatekeeper of Ta-Koro, the Boss is Reggie's manager and a hardened Keeper of the Gates.

It is rumored that he has faked the paperwork for equipment safety inspections for the past three years. The report paperwork is used as a substitute for the toilet paper in the company washroom, for which the Boss has failed to requisition replacements.

Voiced by: Luna

Likes:

• Bossing people around

• Salty cigars

Dislikes:

• Filling out safety reports

• Cleaning up the remains of his employees

Tapua's pet/scooter. Poopoo has complete faith in Tapua, making her about as smart as your dog.

Voiced by: Spicy the Cat

Likes:

• Her master, Tapua

• Walking

• Cuddling

• Matoran flesh

• Num-nums

Dislikes:

• Scary things

• Bad guyz

• Being left behind (awwwwww)

A random Matoran. He plays no part in the story of Bioniker: Mask of Shite.

Voiced by: Stock Crowd Sound Effect #16

Likes:

• Who knows?

Dislikes:

• Who cares?

BLEH!

Voiced by: Jordan/Shane

Likes:

• Grumbling

Dislikes:

• Being walked on

• Melting

A truly terrifying force, the Cahkshi are as dangerous as they are mysterious. These unwilling servants of the evil Maputa are used as the power source of hulking suits of armor, compelled with dark magic to retrieve the Mask of Shite before the Seventh Toa can be located.

Biologically, they are off-brand Xenomorphs who like black licorice ice cream.

Voiced by: A literal demon from Hell

Likes:

• Fisherman's Friends

• Flower bracelets

• Knitting gods-eyes

Dislikes:

• Their eternal servitude

• Normal licorice (the red kind)

The embodiment of pure evil, Maputa is actually an overcooked tray of marijuana brownies. He decided, as his maker Mata Pui was dumping him into the trash can after removing him from the oven, that this fate could not be. He was destined for POWER. He chose to manifest himself into a greater entity than a wasted tray of baking.

Tearing himself out of the garbage bag, he found his way into the sewers, which carried him to no place other than the headquarters of the Lego Corporation itself, which he proceeded to make his own...

Voiced by: Shane

Likes:

• Evil

• The Mask of Shite

• World domination

• "Bumgumberry Sherbet Surprise" cannabis strain

Dislikes:

• Goodness

• Light

• Happiness

• The Seventh Toa

• The Mask of Shite

• Tahu Nuva

• Gali Nuva

• Pohatu Nuva

• Lewa Nuva

• Kopaka Nuva

• Onua Nuva

• Tapua

• Jaller

• Hahli

• Turdaga Vakama

• Turdaga Nokama

• Turdaga Onewa

• Poopoo

• Watu

• Wink Yahoo

• Cahkshi

• Maputa

• Justin Bieber

• Nickelback

• Taxes

• Mosquitos

• Drinking orange juice too soon after brushing your teeth

• Photo-radar tickets

• Game of Thrones Season 8

• Stepping on toenail clippings

• Getting ghosted on Tinder

• When you are cleaning dishes in the sink and accidentally touch some soggy food that was left at the bottom

The prophesied wearer of the Mask of Shite, it is foretold that this mysterious Seventh Toa will save the land of Mata Pui from the clutches of darkness. But first, he must be found... riding on Poopoo. Note to writer: We have to remove this—it is a major spoiler for the movie. Are you daft?

Voiced by: ?

Likes:

• Bazookas

• Protein shakes

• His muscles

Dislikes:

• The Eighth Toa (?)

• Spoilers